Monday, January 12, 2009

1.3.09 On A Road

Break lights straight ahead.
Should I slow down and stop soon?
Or change the channel.

12.28.08 Something Blue

Blissful then forlorn,
sits the manic depressive couple
on their white wedding.

12.21.08 Space

Entering into their space.
This space is theirs
and theirs alone.
Entering into your space.
This space is yours
and yours alone.
Entering into my space.
This space is mine
and mine alone.
Entering into our space.
This space is ours
and ours alone.
There I am content.

11.3.08 No More

No more talking
just breathe.
No more thinking
just react.
No more believing
just know.
No more wasting
just live.
No more past
just a future.
No more reality.

10.24.08 Self Confidence

Forget what they say.
You’re all that matters.
You are more than their jealous ramblings can ever amount to.
More than what they can comprehend.
Don’t listen to the negative.
Listen to the constructive.
Exist in the affirmative.
Dwell in the beauty you know resides in your heart as well as in your progeny.
To them we are perfect.
Through you they learn that positive.
And through their excellence we gain our self confidence.

10.24.08 Disposable Cups

Why do we treat people like disposable cups?
To fill them up to the brim with our wants, our needs,
just to crumble them up and throw them away when something better comes along.
These cups of different shapes and sizes, made from different ingredients, different molds.
The champaign flutes,
the cups of plastic, of paper,
the bottles, the forty ouncers, the big gulps,
the glasses of martini, of wine,
the mugs, the snifters.
All different yet their purpose the same.
The elixir of life in its chalice, coveted by the greedy.
Your greed will be your downfall.
Sad you won’t realize it until we’re gone.
When you’re all alone.
When you’ve run out of options; out of vessels, out of victims.
Then you’ll wonder:
Why you treated your friends like disposable cups?

10.23.08 I Regret (Unfinished)

I used to say I didn't regret anything in my life.
I regret conveying secrets to unworthy ears.
I regret shedding unworthy tears.
I regret knowing unworthy people.
I regret.

10.21.08 Shine

The day is radiant.
The night opaque.
Twilight pervades them both but you infuse the colors in that sublime setting,
almost iridescent in its beauty.
The air warms as it envelopes your presence,
drifting precariously through your aura.
You traverse through destiny though it is manifest
and it gets better every moment we're together.
You who have meandered into this life;
for it is because of you I shine.

5.19.08 Little Giant

Little giant you scare me so,
with your screechy voice and your gangsta fro.
You are so cute but big for 3,
the LOST monster you remind me of, I do decree.
Bossy aren't you? A bully will unfurl,
I swear you will be like that blonde in Mean Girls.
The boys will all want you when you grow up,
Just make sure before you marry one, you get a prenupt;
Cause I know you will be famous one day, perhaps another Halle Berry?
Of course without a Monster's Ball film, now that's freakin scary.
Remain cute and adorable and hold your head up high,
cause those other girls are chicken heads but you, you're so fly.

5.10.08 Inside My Head

no more bullying
enough of dramatics
i did not sign up for any course
oscillation is constant
devoid of emotional commitment to all
it is certain
i am not making it up
it is real
i just do not care
the world still rotates
it is sad that you do not believe
my way is easier
i have tried everyone elses
i have to be true to my ways
i am not closed minded
i am tired
my world is safe
that place for me and the characters i have allowed to be important to me
they do not disappoint
they are always there inside my head
they understand
this dream wonderland
they entertain me
that chimerical space
the anxiety
the anger
the circles of pressure enveloping
clouding the vision
overwhelming heat
inside my head
it is not hard to enter but each entrance has a price
they do not understand why i must enter each time
misunderstanding, misjudged, misconstrued
i will not be their clown
the show is not for free
you are not better
i am not melodramatic
just multifaceted
i listen
do you
does anyone
let me

1.24.08 Soudainement je sais/ Suddenly I Know

Soudainement je sais
Soudainement je peux voir tout
c'est erroné avec moi
Est-ce que mais que je peux faire ?
Je suis la seule chose que j'ai vraiment du tout

Suddenly I know
Suddenly I can see everything, that's wrong with me.
But what can I do?
I'm the only thing I really have at all.
Its been a long time since I saw your face but she doesn't live here anymore.
One day you will go away from here.
She's trying to free me. But she can't.
There's no reading me, so stop trying. You can change the world but you can't change me.
The sky opens.
The rain is taking over.
Yet the sun still shines.
It will take over.
I once drew a picture.
It is taking over.
The world spins for me.
It has taken over.
Let there be light.
The ghost comes but finds it is too late.
Slowly drowning.
Cold, icy, free falling.
Wind rising.
She is indifferent to the change.
It is within her.
The soul has departed.

1.4.08 Not Worth It

Simplicity is monotonous and boring.
Complexity makes you want to get up in the morning.
Long live your simple life until you are willing to take a chance.
You won't truly be happy.
Move on.
It isn't worth it.
You are out there somewhere.

11.14.07 These Bitches

These bitches only care about themselves.
I'll just call them 'these bitches'.
These bitches never intend to be your friend.
These bitches get away with using men.
Jealous bitches who give the rest of us a bad name.
Mothers? Daughters? All the same.
They come in different shapes and races.
But I've found a certain kind have similar faces.
These bitches cannot be trusted.
Immature, silly bitches that will never be happy.
Spiteful bitches suck the life from females and males alike.
These bitches never change, they are always in denial.
These bitches that hide their hatred in a smile.
Don't be fooled by their 'sad' story.
I won't be.
We'll see how I feel about the bitch later.
Stupid bitch.
And they say we are the bitches.
Thank Goodness I don't associate with those bitches.

3.20.07 A Winter's Tale

Crowded places, familiar faces.
Useless chases. Unnecessary wages.
Feelings are contagious.
In a world full of false pages.
Torn and burned.
Fahrenheit 451.
And Then There Were None.
I guess this is just for fun, not for everyone.
Not even for you.
How vanity is your due.
Things not worth it to pursue.
There yet not there too.
Your problems not easy to construe.
The obsession scary to more than a few.
Mom and dad's comments lost in the ether.
Slightly heard over the loud voices of our teachers.
Your fingertips near but too far to grasp.
Ha. Revitalize.
Mopey? Forget your 'by definition'. This could be happy.

8.9.06 Kin

Though it may not seem so,
you influence me more than you know.
Though it may not seem true,
you give me strength when times are blue.
I will be there for you through thick and thin,
you are my friends, my life, my best of kin.

6.11.06 Lost (unfinished)

Stolen memories taken to the sky,
ascend into space to cascade down from heaven as the years go by.
So let us cling together and let our seeds be sown;
for we must learn to live together or we will die alone.

6.10.06 Get over Yourself

Okay, what the hell?
I'm trying so hard not to yell.
I was hoping you'd grow up, but inside I already knew; I mentioned this subject in one other blog too.
There you go always pretending I'm not talking about you. Sorry, but this is something I won't accede to.
And I know that you know what I'm saying rings true.
One question I have to ask is: why is it so easy for you to say adieu?
Another question is: why do you continue to lie to yourself and remain oblivious to all the real people around that try to help you accrue all the things you want in life, but steadily do to the bad decisions you've made, you tend to push those who care away for those who are untrue.
This is freakin like deja vu.
Cause you've played this silly game before but I happened to forgive.
Now I'm tired of the game and you've forgotten all the past times I stood by your side.
Therefore, I won't abide and now you must atone and live through all the troubles you brought on yourself....... alone.
Stop being a prude.
Why should your problems be paramount while ours put on a shelf? Just get the hell over yourself!

5.15.06 Piss on You

Nothing is real.
Everything is fake.
Life conceals, while Death produces heartbreak.
Though the wind blows, and the earth quakes, it may not be what you chose, but it's the path you must take.
As The sun sets and the darkness begins to awake, there remains only you, left with no feeling except a withering ache.
The only thing to say now is piss on you.

5.14.06 Always Cold

i walk in the rain while the darkness rejuvenates me
i grow weary of the act it seems
this darkness would scare those who know me, no matter who they be
why can't i feel ashamed of all the laughter it brings
the aphotic depths of the sky holds the power to control
sounds of the night say that life is the thing
we must all pay for living we must all pay the toll
but i have to be me no matter how disheartening
why can't you understand that i don't feel a thing
i can't be there for you, if it's loneliness you bring
why can't you understand that it's not all about you
why can't you understand that it's about all of us too
this unstable relationship, it gets jaded, it gets old
i can't sit here waiting for your epiphany to unfold
don't come to me when you feel the need to be consoled
by then i may be tired of you, i may be tired of being cajoled
sorry, this is me the way that i was made,
always cold
always cold
Always cold.